Monday, October 28, 2024

I have been dreaming in poetry lately. I had one a few days ago in whch I was watching Dylan play piano with my friend Tyler Burba. Dylan got up and turned around. He had turned into Elvis. Rock and roll! A poem descended from the sky, "What is it about the wide mouth curving into a snarl that we decide to stick to so strongly all?" I woke up just long enough to write that down. I wondered about it often the next day; what IS our love of the snarl is all about?


Then last night I dreamed in iambic hymn meter. This must be a symptom of reading Emily Dickinson every day. I woke up and wrote the lines of the poem. 


He used to bring her from his garden 

onions, garlic and sage.


In her cry the leap of life

spread from print to page.

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

F750



In which I try to explicate an Emily Dickinson poem and it turns into an imaginary conversation with several like-minded friends.



We thirst at first—’tis Nature’s Act—

And later—when we die—

A little Water supplicate—

Of fingers going by—



It intimates the finer want—

Whose adequate supply

Is that Great Water in the West—

Termed Immortality—




F750, J726, Fascicle 36, 1863







What is the connection between natural thirst and spiritual thirst? They don’t seem to be related, at first. One is a biological mechanism necessary to maintain the sustenance of H20. There is an evolutionary basis to it.




Though if you are questioning the origin of life itself, I suppose you could still take it back to a spiritual level. There are deeper laws in the universe than


OKAY



I’m going to take this one in a different way.




Trey Parker and Matt Stone saying the logical evolution of South Park is an acid trip.




This is what I want for Emily here, a holiday.




There are deeper layers of the universe, beyonder layers,

And from these layers spring lower orders, that which consists of “time.” We are stuck in time. Wonderfully, poignantly so. Inside of time, thirst makes sense. It makes sense because physical fuel-based energy system can only exist inside of time.




Haha, who’s following me? I don’t think even I could follow this claptrap. Clap your trap, DeGraff.




Actually, I forgot. You are following this. Oh, I love you!




(And only you.)




Okay, back to Nature’s first act. Thirst. Back to Nature’s thirst act, first. Who’s on thirst? No, Who’s on seconds. Exactly. Thirst can only exist in time. Time and thirst are inextricable.




Is this true though on a Spiritual level? Is fuel needed in the ethereal spirit world? Can there be any need when you have immortality?




I don’t think so. Okay, back to the everloving poem.




And later—when we die—

A little Water supplicate—

Of fingers going by—




(I’m thinking of you now, not him.)




Later when we die. Okay, to the point. We are still begging, supplicating. Life is a beggar’s banquet, to quote the sometimes great Mick “You can’t always get what you want” Jagger.




I’m thinking of Her now.




Fingers going by, so tender, so touching, brushing fingertips, as they go by, warming, tingling with life, with reach.




It intimates the finer want—

Whose adequate supply




She rhymes supplicate with intimate. She is the subtlest of rhymsters. I’m think of Jim Behrle now. He’s a hamster. Hiya, Jimmy! You intimate the finer want. Haha.




I need to read this on New Years Day. Hi me then and now you.




There is a finer want in us. Not as in better. (Can you get better than water?) But more refined, less material, more subtle. But no greater. A living water, as Christ said.




What is that living water? I want to know!




Is that Great Water in the West—

Termed Immortality—




It’s funny who I think of sometimes. Nada Gordon is funny. I like her animals too. Bill Luoma once suggested a title a book: “Incoming Animals.” I believe I called it “The Hawaii Poems" instead. What a stupid title. Well, at least Bill’s title is incoming now, better late than never.




Better late than too late. At somewhere Clark Coolidge is believing.




Juliana always comes after Bill. Though I believe Bill came before Juliana. Oh boy. They are both giants, coming. Would Emily like it if Juliana came over. Would Sue? I doubt it. Juliana once woke me up in the middle of the night to see a rare night-blooming cereus.




But in the morning she still wouldn't say good morning. She only blossomed on rare nights.




The great water in the West is the sunset right? The end of something. Something material. Not something spiritual. And yet the spiritual seems to be somehow tied into the material. How? Through Beauty? Now I’m thinking of Maja Lukic, of Sumi Kaipa, of Suji Kwock Kim, too many beautiful poets to believe. Marina Eckler. Karen Weiser. Renee Gladman. Hoa. Hoa. Hoa. Keats’s love. I probably shouldn’t go on. But I could. Until I got to Alex Cory.




The Great Water in the West. Is it beauty? Like the beauty of a sunset? The glory of an inflamed love upon the poignancy of leaving?




I don’t know Dale, what do you think. I know you have a thousand poems on the subject. A whole series just based on the collaboration of Robert Duncan and Lisa Jarnot, I know.




I don’t know why Javier Paolo just popped his head in. He’s just cool like that. Queen’s legend.




Like Cedar Sigo, olde gold from the 49er days. Thanks for stopping by. Like I used to, on your couch, part of the drapery, admiring your drip.




Dave Outhouse can’t not come knocking, followed by Will Yackulic, Micah Ballard. Bunch of Zeitguist habitues. Squatters and Gobblers.




Okay, this might have gone off the rails. I have no idea. I’ll have to wait to see.




Emily, in past poems, has eschewed immortality a something boring and long. She has also used it, I believe, to term a moment of indeterminacy.




Like this one, dedicated to Julien Poirier, with love.




And also, as a moment of nowness, of which forevers are composed.




Another one, I’m not so sure about, but is well worth investigating. The Christ model. The self sacrifice for other. That one is deep.




So we have beauty, the sunset, and truth, sacrifice of self for beauty as it is found in the human heart. As it is found there. In nature. First. Last?




I don’t think I can possibly print this in Prowling Bee. Susan may roll over in her garden.




I’m going to have to find another place. Maybe Noel Black’s Face. Haha. Like a bespoke mustache. I mustache him if his face is available. I would like what’’s her name, that hilarious poet, to hand-write it in very small letters there. The word "dimple" aimed at his right dimple. I’m not embarrassed. You're embarrassed.




I think this must be the first of a series. Though it may be too salty, sweet, spicy or sour for tomorrow’s thirst. But can you really overdo it if you have




Anahid Nesessian.




If you have all quadrants in equal array.




The main thing is to use your friends.




Haha.




I mean abuse your friends.




With bondage play.




See Emily’s last poem for reference. It’s hot.




I’m thinking of Anselm, which then always leads to Eddie

and that whole extended family,


which really includes me now,

materially, since my wife was

was introduced to me thereof.




I should tell you the story about meeting Anselm. Some other time.




But also Spiritually, because I met most of you

through they, one way or another,




Who I suppose I met through Berkeley,

Lyn Hejinian, Charles Altieri, Michael Palmer,

And that milieu. I’m very pretentious now.




Hey when did this essay turn into a poem?




Jennifer Moxley, you and Steve

Remind me all of the sudden of

Lytle Shaw and Emilie Clark.




Then the Berrigans lead me to meeting Phil Whalen.




Those little Ducky Toes.




And Bill Berkson.




Or maybe Bill introduced us to Phil?




Still, it begins with the Berrigans.




And ends.



Okay. So what. So we will begin again. With the next poem.

Friday, August 30, 2024

THIS IS MY BODY

THIS IS MY BODY

In a dream this morning I was in some kind of outdoor classroom and the leader asked me to think of a food I liked. I said spaghetti. Then he asked me to close my eyes and imagine eating it and tell the class the word that came to mind. I shut my eyes and imagined the taste of spaghetti and tears came to my eyes. I said the word was, "family." I said, "There might be a better word, but I don't know how to say it." One of the other students said, "It tickled your Is." I laughed and said, "Yeah, that's a good way to put it."

When I woke up and remembered the tears that were elicited by the taste of spaghetti in my dream, I thought of Matthew 26:26: "Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."

I know that Catholics take these words quite literally. They believe that the bread, taken at mass, is the actual body of Christ. I also take these words literally, as more than mere metaphor, but want to apply them to all food, and most especially to food that is delicious, like spaghetti, eaten in communion with family and friends. God (or Love, or Spirit, or whatever you want to call It) is in the food we eat. The proof of this, to me, is in those mysterious tears that welled up in my dream.

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Wildwood Holler

Wildwood Holler

Way up in the Wildwood Holler
Face to face with my killer
He raised his voice
He raised his fist
I raised my glass
I said here's to you
Here's to me
Here's to us
Now kick my ass
Way up in the Wildwood Holler
Face to face with my killer
He raised the knife
I raised a spoon
He raised the gun
I put the flower in
He raised the bar
I raised the saloon
He raised the ante
I raised my gin
Here's to you
Here's to me
Here's to us
Now let's begin
Lightning bolt
and thunderclap
I had to laugh
Way up in the wild blue yonder
face to face with my creator
He raised the sky
I raised the balloon
He raised the sun
I raised the moon
He raised the morning
I rose at noon
Lightning bolt
and thunderclap
I laughed and laughed

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Lines From a Dream 



Sweet leaf Keats drew my whole life over

It gave flesh to me



***



Lines Written Immediately Upon Waking



Tumbling over mountains over

rivers, through valleys

like a borg in heat

She stoned me

and cried for me


Absolved of nothing

yet resolved to everything

I entreated the sun


Infrared rays revealed

astrological scars

amidst the ruins,

like a farmer's car

amidst faint

festoons of

pansies.













                Really


Genevieve was talking in her sleep.

I thought I heard her say, "What is real?"


"What did you say?" I asked her.


She repeated again, "What is real?"


"What? What is real?"


She answered, "Really."





BAKTIB

In my dream this morning I learned the word "Baktib."

According to the dream this word is Turkish and means "lame travel."

It's a state to be desired. You hope to travel "lame" 

so that you can go slowly and experience more.

When I awoke I did an online search to see if the word existed. 

In Cairene Arabic "Baktib" means, "I write."






For Jack Collum



Send up the clowns


Roll in the barrels


Shoot the player piano


The marvelest monarch

in the maelstrom is leaving

fabulist prints of wings

that mutate like Colorado skyscapes


Open all the books!



















Ode to Fortitude


In Hamlet Fortinbras says,

"Go softly on."

Go softly on, dude

what else is there?


40 days in the flood followed by 

40 days in the desert followed by

40 winks.

Whenever I shut my eyes

and let a word come to me

it's the word "Fortitude"


Sometimes it comes out "Fortified"

like in a cereal commercial, “Fortified 

with essential minerals and vitamins”


Those fricatives

like little sonic word forts

the ramparts of verbal attitude


Made a fort in your living room

out of couch cushions

When you were 4


4 years later

put a 45 on the turntable

a rousing, hair-raising rendition

of 16 tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford


14 years later

made a fort at the beach

Against the wind

drinking a 40 

confiding in a friend

nothing left to hide


Drove a Ford Crown Vic

four to the floor

over the hills of San Francisco


Drove back through the backwoods

of Joplin MO

in your Grandfather's Ford


Going all the way back 

to the first man

in the first Ford


A Ford on either side

like Ford Maddox Ford


Like The fjords fortifying Norway

jutting up from the depths of the sea

into sheer mountain sides


Like Karl Ove Knausgaard

jutting up from Norway 

as a literary force


Like Superman in the fortress of solitude.


The fortitude of solace.


Like Garcia Marquez's 100 years of solitude


Forty years old

and you’re an old dude

Forty more and you're worm food


Fortifying the worms

food for the next generation of food


Finally quietude


Stand on higher ground

Fight against the flood

until the flood overtakes you


The flood overtakes the floodlights


The fortitude to stand against the tide

until the next generation

can take over


Like a blood infusion


The next generation

fortified with your blood


Then as if on cue

this very morning

the Pope appeared

in a Ted Talk and said

Tenderness is not weakness

It is Fortitude


Go softly on, dude






A Moment


In between one daughter's

presentation on community 

workers at one school 

and the other daughter's

presentation on an animal at the next

I’m sitting at the front window  

of the cafe at 40th and Queens Blvd

looking up from "The Artist of the Beautiful"

the short story I was reading on my phone

thoroughly charmed 

by the language of Hawthorne

which I am in love with

like Melville before me

My fingers tapping a rhythm

to the flamenco on the stereo

the coffee working its magic

watching the April wind lightly

ruffling the hair of a woman walking by 












These Public Things are Private


The way Emily took absolute care

for nobody


Follow the rhythm

the little trot to triage

the snow dope

fallen branches inside 

startled asks, ask


Toddler anchor

Father feeling


It's easy to complain


The answer comes later


In the refrain


The radio takes over











Woke Up Like This


My body disappeared

Away into the night 

like a thief had taken me

a ghost his prey 

I feel it don't feel it 

a surge of negative

for one disappearing instant

an ember floating up out of a fire

a shooting star in reverse 

a speck going dark and then poof it's black

I speak but can't hear myself at all

sound in a vacuum 

no room any more

no you there next to me 

no more Me 

I can't breathe 

nothing to breathe

even the air has disappeared 

I suck in with failing force 

until I suck myself inside out 

not even smoke comes out

silence not a sound no matter 

not even nothing no trace left 

as if a few black lines

on a page of digitized air 

were zapped by a solar flare 

the whole cloud zapped

and then even this

no longer here





***



Lines from a Nap


The night is full of fire.

the falling stars wed him

whom weather won't.









Birthday Wish


When I blew out my birthday candles this year 

it seemed a sacrilege to wish for anything 

beyond the moment itself. I just blew. No wish.

Dexter and Nori brought a bottle of Hudson Valley Bourbon,

burnt caramel, wood smoke, sun. I passed it around. 

Got a magic 8 Ball from KC Trommer.

Lilla brought a peach torte from a patisserie.

Amy brings a peach pie, 

Cristina, fancy snacks and socks, 

Therese a painting of a hummingbird,

Catherine a handle of rum, 

Nonna and Papa boursin cheese,

Marco oak-aged beer, 

Quinn guitar strings, picks and a pear,

Tyler and Karen, wine and a watermelon. 

Flicks & Jazz played in the Garden. 

I threw a giant frisbee straight up

so it would come back to me 

as if I was playing catch with the sky.

Dozens of kids swirl around. 

Brooklyn Raga Massive played Zeppelin 

with Pyeng Threadgill singing.

I danced with daughter Lucia 

and she was so fantastic!

The Flushing Remonstrance played next

followed by old Felix The Cat Cartoons.

The girls were both lying on me comfortably.

It was a warm night with a cool breeze. 

Full harvest moon! No bugs!

The night expressed it better than I could.

Now thoroughly tired, and pinching myself to see if this all

might be a dream, but instead of waking up, I fall asleep!









42


I almost went

into a trap

but was sent

a map


of the senses

by the deuses

ex machina via

a phone call


so I went out

dancing alone

into the glance

that becomes water


Leave weddings

for thunder

and alight like summer

despite winter warnings


Abate and desist

in orderly fashion

Soon we'll insist

on therapy sessions


Who has the time

has water is water

and who comes after

is on time every time











How Beautifully



When I first moved to NY 

I was looking for a place to rent 

and picked up a Brooklyn Rail at a cafe. 


I opened it on the L Train 

and there was a poem by Cedar Sigo 

in which I recognized one of my own lines.


I shook my head in wonder. 

Cedar had borrowed one of my lines! 

It was a very New York School thing to do. 


The line was perfect for the occasion too:

"How beautifully the brakemen allow the blood through." 

I felt as if I had been given the Key to the City.







The fossilized Lightening Bolt


A man walks down the street with a t-shirt that says,

"Your weakness sickens me"


A man passes him walking the opposite way with a t-shirt that says,

"Your derision thrills me"


They moan I,

says Simone White


The way I look at bridges

Pink petal-strewn courts 

Telescoping


Thread music

Into April’s elephantine 

pumpkin seeds


Honeycomb gospel

Yardbirds’ Leyenda









COFFIN DROP


I am compelled to wake up in the middle of the day by a conundrum. 

It is almost, almost, as if this thing, or things, were born of dreaming. 

But it was not a dream. As I lay there sleeping, wide awake, 

two beings appeared before me. Not appeared, exactly.

They became me. The being on the left was the shape of language

or rather was the stuff language is made from. At times it was the shape of feelings. 

Other times, sight. Light presented itself to the small imp on the left. 

The right side was silent. It was something else, still. 

While the left side spoke an ever-changing and barely discernible

stream of images and words, the right side sat mute, waiting and watching,

a sentinel. The right side then became, for that moment, a shaggy ewe

bleating, saliva dripping from the corner of its mouth, the right corner. 

The left side, the one who calls itself mammon for a moment, 

and then man-moth and now wooly mammoth is prone to suggestion. 

The right side encapsulates. The left is an imp bent on

surprise and exposure. This is the mutable undergirding of expression,

the immovable center of the left, and now the right. The right rises up

as an empty space with a palpable nothing; the isness of space.

Something must come of nothing. That something must be self.

There is a smell. There is a headache. The headache came from the left.

The headache is felt on the right. Inside are two monkeys, chained

to a rock. On the left Bruegel bubbles from the lips of John Wieners’ font.

On the right the monkey chatter hurts my head. The monkeys

are a symbol of themselves. They are plastic dime-store

novelties. The left is taken up for watching. The right pops a drawl.

There is no naming of the left. We can say the right is correct.

The right is fooled by shame, desire & nausea. This side is stopped,

keeps stopping. You see your mother now on the right. The head

expands. The hair is a new spice and takes commitment to grow. 

The left is a rolling ball of clay set to animation, claymation. 

The dough is stretched in space. To the right is the dough 

in mom's kitchen being stretched to make bread. Good bread. 

The smell of manna that takes us back to the womb.

Then the smell of animal and guts of sweet dew and underwater salt. 

Those scents, from the womb, that are tantamount to what the tongue

lacks. The tongue made of clay. The shape bouncing off the center

into wordy vibrations. The station plays on, now a deejay with a soft voice

running down a baseball game in 1967. My father passing out to the drone,

the crack of the bat barely interrupting. The crowd hollers, the dreamer watches.

A curtain falls. The monkeys fall endlessly, a kind of trick in time. 

The chatter seems to get lost in the fall. As heard from high

above and at the same time from below. Echoing chatter that is speeding up

as it falls. The head swirls in sickness and excitement. The fall continues apace,

two sides in a race, a perpetual tie. Focus in on the vision of the eye

on the right attached to a corpse come back alive. Now inside that eye

become that eye and on the left the surface is gummy. Walk upon the street

made of candy. The candy road spins off the rotating sphere of language.

The feet stick to the road and make loud god smacks with every step.

Stand still and feel the wobble. Push the surface in waves with one foot

and then the other. The waves wake up the baby. The babbling of the baby

becomes the waves, a synaesthesia of becoming. The curvature of sight

and sound undulating. The sensation spinning out from lower back now

as a sharp pain. This is on the right. As well as all of the new physical sensation,

which starts on the left. On the left the station changes to Socrates giving fits

to one of the students. The student is holding his head. He weakly smiles

at Socrates. Socrates bows to the student, with a slight tilt of the head.

The student puzzles over Socrates. What is he doing? The women start to cry.

The men are even crying now. The tears dry up into fantasy. The cries impinge,

originating on the right. The left is only momentarily frightened. The left takes comfort

in two steady hands that hold it tight. Study. The hands become breath, left breath in

the right breath out. The driver turns the wheel one-eighty. In the center of the wheel 

is another wheel and so forth, as far as the eye can see.














Wildwood Holler


Way up in the Wildwood Holler

Face to face with my killer


He raised his voice

He raised his fist


I raised my glass


I said here's to you

Here's to me

Here's to us


Now kick my ass


Way up in the Wildwood Holler

Face to face with my killer


He raised his sun

I raised my moon


He raised the knife

I raised a spoon


He raised the gun

I put the flower in

Lightning bolt

and thunderclap


I had to laugh


Way up in the wild blue yonder

face to face with my creator


He raised the sky

I raised the balloon


He raised the bar

I raised the saloon


He raised the Ante

I raised the gin


He raised the morning

I raised at noon


Lightning bolt

and thunderclap


I had to laugh




Reggaeton at the D


I’m standing behind the bar

Staring in awe at the dancers

Tearing up the dance floor

When a drop of cold liquid

Hits my ear. I turn to Diandra

And ask her why she did that.

She says it wasn't her.

Well, who was it then?

She says it's the sweat

Of the dancers, explains that 

the heat causes it to condense

On the ceiling and the combined

Sweat of all the dancers

fell into my ear. Sweet,

I said, it’s the perfect metaphor.

Yuck, she said.  Salty, I thought

And left to join the dance floor.









ESTHETIC REVELATION


The girls are down for a nap and I have a moment.

What will I do with my moment to make it a MOMENT?

I will read. I pick up Elizabeth Bishop's “PROSE”

and turn at random to a letter in the middle and read,

“I’ve always thought one of the most extraordinary insights

into the ‘sea’ is Rimbaud’s L’eternite: ‘C’est la mer allee,

Avec le soleil.’.” Voila!  I don’t read French, but I know this 

Line. I used it as an opening  quote of a poem or my daughters, 

plucked  it out of a New Yorker article on Rimbaud in translation:

“I have seen it. What? Eternity. It is the sun matched by the sea.” 

I kept reading the Bishop, my interest piqued by the Rimbaud. She 

writes “This approximates what I think is called the ‘anesthetic revelation’.

(William James?).” I was intrigued so I did a google search 

for “anesthetic revelation.” I arrived at a wikipedia page not for William James 

but for one Benjamin Paul Blood, a 19th century character. I read,

“After experiencing the anesthetic nitrous oxide during a dental operation, 

Blood concluded that the gas had opened his mind to new ideas 

and continued experimenting with it. In 1874, he published 

The Anesthetic Revelation and the Gist of Philosophy.”

(The first time I had nitrous oxide at the dentist I experienced this,

a rushing backward away from all current reality into somewhere

other, I want to say nether, and was filled with a bright euphoria

so intense that when the assistant took off the mask

kissed her. Oddly, she kissed me back, as if also swept up 

in my ecstacy.  Reality quickly came quickly back to me.

I was embarrassed and we both acted as if nothing happened.)

The Wiki article also pointed out that Ben Blood admits 

to having never lifted a finger in anger and says

that his entire life had been fun. Fantastic! Finally

I read that Blood also patented a successful swathing reaper. 

What?  I had a moment of recognition, a super-recognition.  

A revelation (perhaps more aesthetic than anesthetic) wallops me 

between the eyes.  First I have to back up and explain to you 

that there is another Adam DeGraff. If you google me, 

you’ll probably get him. He’s a virtuoso violin player

whose YouTube video of himself playing “Sweet Child ‘O Mine”

has gathered  over a million views. He is me. “I is another”

I recently noticed this Adam DeGraff had given

a TED talk and so I watched it out of dopplegangerly curiosity. 

Surprisingly it was not about violin playing at all, but rather

about reaping, literally, reaping swaths of grass by hand

as opposed to using a lawn mower. Adam said he had found his thing.

There is something about scything swaths of grass that just 

makes me happy he said. And this is what I remembered when I read

about Ben Blood, the happy farmer, who also loved to reap,

and who must’ve found there, like the musician Adam DeGraff, the secret 

of the trance. I sent the other Adam DeGraff the Wikipedia link for Ben Blood.

Imagine his surprise when he gets an e-mail from Adam DeGraff

about reaping and anesthetic revelations. I went back and looked 

at the Wikipedia page again. I read there that Ben Blood was friends

With Lord Alfred Tennyson, another poet I love and a link

back to Bishop. It then became clear to me that this entire moment 

was a poem waiting to be written. Therefore I am quickly dashing it off, 

before the babies wake up so I will remember.  (So far so good.)


***


The Match


Upon the back of a swan lay

a velvet blanket from Bombay.

The boy astride carries a torch

to light his way, but has no match.


The swan is flying through a maze

of endless days and blinding haze

searching for one who might say

what only a burning flame may.












       The Thorough Thoreau


I trust that none will stretch the seams in putting on this coat,

for it may do good service to you whom it fits


Better if you had been born in the open pasture and suckled by a wolf,

that you might have seen with clearer eyes what field you were called to labour in


Contracting yourself into a nutshell of civility


Making yourself sick, that you may lay up something against a sick day


Not being immortal nor divine, but a slave and prisoner of your own opinion of yourself


What you think, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, your fate


Not to betray too green an interest in your fate!

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity  


To stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future,

which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line


This is the only way you say, but there are as many ways

as can be drawn from the radii from one center


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look

through each other's eyes for an instant?






The Button Holding Together the Universe


I was taking a walk with the girls down 39th Ave

when I happened to look down and see a clump of


faded golden grass. In the center of the dead grass,

dead center, was a golden button, the same faded gold as


the grass it was laying in, as if the two were related,

As if the two were meant to be here, were fated


to be found together; the way the leaves

were splayed out around the circular curves


of the plastic button. The four little holes

suggested a square, pointing to the four poles.


Squaring up the center of the infinite surrounding.

The button was holding together the world, suspending


the earth itself, just as Wallace Stevens' jar in Tennessee

does, holding back the hills leading up to it. I was lucky


to have been there at that moment, to see it so improbably

arranged, just so, like that. I picked up the lucky


button and put it in my pocket, aware now, suddenly,

that I had just unbuttoned the universe, as crazy


as that sounds, even to me. (I'm not that crazy.)

I didn't think about it again for a few days, but then I


put my hands in my coat pocket and there it was.

And there it was the next day too. I would buzz


a little bit every time I touched the cool plastic

of the button between my thumb and fingertip,


like a talisman, or a worry bead, or an old Roman coin;

I rubbed it like it really was some magic thing


and not just a piece of trash. Maybe it was trash,

but either way, when I touched it, it became a fetish,


proven through my own unconscious reach.

So flash forward to after Anselm and Eileen each 


read poems at Dynaco and I'm talking to Anselm’s daughter,

Sylvie. She is showing me her button collection. Are


you kidding me? It was a terrific collection, but I smiled

with satisfaction because I had the best button. I pulled


the button from my pocket and unfolded my hand.

Carley Moore was there and asked, are you giving that


to Sylvie for her collection? No, I said, not this one!

There was an awkward pause. I have to keep this one


because I found it in the grass, as if it was Whitman reborn

and holding up the tender button of Gertrude Stein.


It was holding the universe together! Sorry, Sylvie.

Carley was embarrassed for me. But Sylvie


flipped the script and reached in her pocket

handing a tiny red button to me. I took it


and then it occurred to me that I was an idiot. I pulled

the big gold button back out of my coat pocket, rolled


it once between my thumb and fingers, for luck, 

and handed it over to Sylvie. She took


It. The little red button that Sylvie handed over

Is now the one holding the universe together.





Pumpkin Seed

Betty Lou, she's my grandma
Betty Lou makes pumpkin pie
Pumpkin pie from pumpkin
pumpkin from pumpkin seed
pumpkin seed from nothing
from nothing to pumpkin seed
from pumpkin seed to pumpkin 
from pumpkin to pumpkin pie
serve it up with cool whip cream
straight from cow from breast of cow
how I love that pumpkin pie!

Carve it up with a knife
carve it up that pumpkin
jack-a-lantern from pumpkin
pumpkin from pumpkin seed
pumpkin seed from nothing
from nothing to pumpkin seed
from pumpkin seed to pumpkin
from pumpkin to jack-a-lantern
see them glow watch them glow
scare all the kids on Halloween