something I wanted to run by you. let me know your thoughts.The second poem, "Look," seems weak. Snarky Malarky Mayakovsky. I like it, but not sure it isn't just a phase. You know? Also a little anti-preachy preachy. anyway,
You looked so restrained by your broken frame.
I immediately wanted to play music for you.
And so I took the job. I drowned myself in a lover's sob.
I hung myself from the ceiling of the broken hearts club.
I died the big O. I came the little death.
I fell into a big hole. Now who's sick?
Is it so wrong to love an invalid so?
So locked inside attention am I your man.
Caught in the anticipation of conception.I love you darling. Be free.
ps, just realized this also echoes the epigraph opening the book, about Zuul kissing the harnessed horse.
pps. forgive the OCD